talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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