Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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