I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
