you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
