so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
