I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
