1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
