Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.