please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.