So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
