I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
