Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu

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(586): View more from Michigan

When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

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(602): View more from Arizona

Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???

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(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.

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(516): View more from New York

I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"

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(734): View more from Michigan

You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.

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