i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
