So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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