My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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