Me too!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
where are my eyebrows?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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