What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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