how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
