walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my nose is crying tears of wow.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
