I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
