hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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