Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no you cant smoke seaweed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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