is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
