i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
