shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?