My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We were destined to go to rehab together
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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