He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
