woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
