haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
