My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
