After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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