She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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