Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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