super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
