Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I understand Curling. That high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
