I wannas sexs uuuuu
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE