shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT