Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?