I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone