You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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