Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
