hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
