She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
