I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
