your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
