I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
