great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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