dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am spending my child support on dildos
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I believe in your delicious
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
