At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
