He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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