oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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