Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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