the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize