roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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