like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
