Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
