i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
