All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize