Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
