I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
