I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
