Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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