Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am available for nakedness
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize