In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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