is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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