You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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