And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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