Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
