My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
