my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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