Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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